Go, and never darken my towels again.
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- Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
- As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
- She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
- I dream of being Bugs Bunny, but when I wake up, I’m Daffy Duck or Wile E. Coyote.
- I don’t use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.
- It’s like deja vu all over again.
- I gave a party for time-travelers, but I didn’t send out the invitations until after the party. I sat there a long time, but no one came.
- It’s been one of those mornings that’s gonna last all day.
- Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
- If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.