She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
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- Go, and never darken my towels again.
- Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
- Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
- I gave a party for time-travelers, but I didn’t send out the invitations until after the party. I sat there a long time, but no one came.
- As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
- Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
- If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.
- There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
- Science is good furniture for one’s upper chamber, if there is common sense below.
- A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.