Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar – I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." – Bob Hope