Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Tag Archives: Bob Hope
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Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar – I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar – I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." – Bob Hope