"You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
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- Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
- Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
- When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
- What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
- When I passed forty I dropped pretense, ‘cause men like women who got some sense
- Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
- The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
- I get up each morning and dust off my wits, Then pick up the paper and read the “o-bits.” If my name isn’t there, then I know I’m not dead. I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.
- History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.