Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
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- I’ve known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.
- I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
- The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
- I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
- Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
- In my world, everyone’s a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!
- It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
- Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
- Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
- Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.