"First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly." – Branch Rickey
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Category Archives: Funny Morning Quotes
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." – Bob Hope
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." – Dave Barry
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
"You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
The family that stays together probably has only one car.
"The family that stays together probably has only one car." – Knofel Staton
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." – George Burns
Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.
"Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty." – Sicilian Proverb
I get up each morning and dust off my wits, Then pick up the paper and read the “o-bits.” If my name isn’t there, then I know I’m not dead. I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.
"I get up each morning and dust off my wits, Then pick up the paper and read the "o-bits." If my name isn't there, then I know I'm not dead. I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed." – Anonymous
I dream of being Bugs Bunny, but when I wake up, I’m Daffy Duck or Wile E. Coyote.
“I dream of being Bugs Bunny, but when I wake up, I’m Daffy Duck or Wile E. Coyote.” – Chuck Jones
I don’t use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough. " – M. C. Escher