She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Category Archives: Funny Morning Quotes
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings.
Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings.
Admiration and familiarity are strangers.
Admiration and familiarity are strangers.
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now – I'm booked.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.