Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Category Archives: Funny Morning Quotes
Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
How montonous the sounds of the forest would be if the music came only from the Top Ten birds.
How montonous the sounds of the forest would be if the music came only from the Top Ten birds.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” – Jim Henson
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde